Poem: Grey Life

I have everything and nothing.
A facade of a good life, but
full of murky shadows waiting to
pounce on every single chance i have
of happiness.

But is it true happiness?
is it a social dilemna?
or its simply loneliness in disguise?
A wild thought begetts doubt and
doubt begetts ingratitude, thus,
a lone-wolf is born.

I still feel whole and empty,
full of life and yet without meaning.
Neither a glass half full nor half empty,
rather without water,
But still makes a beautiful sound
when one sticks and slides.
So maybe there is hope after all,
but the greyness still resides inside me.

Inside an Optimist’s mind

Optimism is overrated some would say, but to grasp on the idea of ‘The glass half full…’ideology is actually a great way to overcome obstacles in one’s life.

Let’s take for example, a person who just lost a job. Instead of that person to moarn over the loss of his/her job, he/she has a mind full of gratitude for the lessons learnt from the past job and has hope, that all the lessons learnt would be of great use in finding the next job, be it sooner or later. That hope gives birth to optimism, an imaginary land, where the grass is always greener on the other side.

To convince an optimist otherwise, rather seems nearly impossible for their way of thinking is totally different
from realists and/or pessimists, however, they are fully aware that not all is roses and gold in life. They choose to approach life, in hopes that nothing is permanent in life, be it good or bad, and that after a storm comes calm.

Let’s take another example, which is slightly similar to the first mentioned above. Say, a person has been living in debt,
he or she has been in and out jobs and has been suffering from rejection after rejection from different companies, maybe family
and other relations too. Seems too much? well, believe it or not, many out there go through something very similar quite often, thus the reason for choosing this example. Now, let’s get back to the example. Inside an optimist’s mind, light is always perceived at the end of the tunnel, amidst the crisis.

You always hear them saying something along the lines such as “I know someday, things will get better” or “Tomorrow is another day”, which seems a bit too hopeful considering the amount of difficulty and pain they would be experiencing, however, that’s how an optimist gets his/her strength despite the difficulty.

An optimist is always up for the challenge and is always eager to try different approaches in life as long as it gets them to where they want to be. In other words, they simply refuse to give up nomatter how the challenge may seem to be. Their eyes shimmer with hope, with endurance and at times they may go over the top and try to spread optimism to the rest of the world. One can try to imagine how beautiful their hearts are, but their way of thinking, their minds are way too powerful to be overshadowed by ‘What ifs’, rather with ‘One day i will…’ kind of thoughts.

Some would say that optimism is just an easy way to hide from the harshness of reality and that realists would accept whatever life brings to the table, but an optimist however, would do the same with the hope of things getting better sooner or later. For one to have the ability to think this way, it would help that person greatly with a reduced risk of heart problems because of stress and also less overthinking.

“Live life to the fullest, one day at a time”, is an optimist’s motto, which sounds cool by the way and also a mantra which has helped a lot of people to live their lives with great contentment and gratitude.

“Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.”

– Ambrose Pierce

Winter is coming

Short story: Fighting my own body and mind

For so many years, I have lived in a constant loop. It started at a young age, believing that I wasn’t intelligent, that I wasn’t good enough for any activity including recreational sports for that matter.

It first started off as a thought, then later it became part of me. Living in my own world, I always had a firm belief, or rather a different mindset that, I couldn’t have been born without one single thing I am good at, impossible right?

Losing hope isn’t always in the equation, but when reality creeps in, the strength of holding on to that rope of ‘hope’ starts to fade away. Your mind becomes a playground for such thoughts, they build sandcastles, they build offices and finally they build homes inside your mind, meaning those thoughts are definitely not going anywhere anytime soon. I have always looked down upon myself especially being surrounded by those straight ‘A’ students in class and when I thought the pain was over uponhearing the lunch bell ring, I had to face the top notches in sports like Basketball, Volleyball, Tennis, to name a few as I was an all-rounder because I was trying to find where I really belonged, where I didn’t feel out of place, but the end is always the same in such cases.

However, as an ambivert, at least that’s what I think of myself now, it was hard for me to ask around for advice, it was hard to even ask my own parents to at least give me a shade of light upon the darkness I was leaning towards, I couldn’t. It’s so sad for a kid to go through such and not have the courage to try to help himself all in the name of self-doubt. Nowadays, people often feel more comfortable telling their friends everything happening in their lives, but for me, it was the complete opposite, since I had no one, I was all alone.

There is a difference between being surrounded by people and being with people. What do I mean? I mean, often we are surrounded by so many people, but they don’t even know what we/you are going through, in other words, they are just minding their own business and ‘being with the people’ simply means that one is conversing, interacting and/or living with the people which makes it easier to consult, get help and free yourself from drowning in such thoughts.

Now the question is, what did I do to overcome this and be where I am now today? Well, the answer isn’t always clear, however, there are ways that I had to teach myself andadapt to, so as to have some kind of progress in my life.

I started writing and reading poetry, something that never made any sense before, became clearer as I could relate more to it. I also bought a camera, well an old one, but who cares anyway, the most important thing is that I found it easier to express myself and my feelings through taking pictures from a different perspective that could, however, show or tell how I felt without being poetic. I realized I was multi-talented, and until to this day, it has helped me a lot in fighting my own body and mind, fighting the insecurities, the laziness, the negative thoughts, and it HELPED!

Fighting your own body and mind can be a very lengthy process, however, knowing that you are reading this simply tells me that you are willing to go the extra mile to try to help yourself, thus, having the patience for it.

Find! what you love doing the most, what makes you smile and happy, as it serves as a drive from negative emotions towards something more positive and enlightening, I call that magic.

I am sure most people are believers, as I am myself, and pray! prayer is also a weapon in your life, praying and working for a good turn in your life, yes that works only if you have the patience and belief that it will work.

I have come across many people I thought of as friends who always lowered and pinned me down, always degraded me, and seeing any progress in life was even harder as I would compare myself to them. If you want to make a change in your life, you have to be willing to let go of those people even if it means you will be alone for some time, you have to be willing to let go of the good to attain the better, that’s how you fight your own body and mind, that’s how you start to gain more control of your life. It works very well,

I now see what they call ‘the light at the end of the tunnel’.