You have to take one step at a time

Photo by @leemblueprint



We all want that brand new Lamborghini, that big house in a fancy neighborhood or that fancy position at work. We all want so many things in life that other people are willing to do anything and everything they can to get those things, to get what they dream of in life. Nothing good in life comes easy, so there is always a catch, there is always one thing people aren’t willing to do this, so as to achieve their goals and to get what they want, and that is being patient along the process, to take one step at a time on their journey to success.

Yes, some people were fortunate to be born into the life that other people desperately want, but that’s not always the case, well, for most of us anyway. You have to be willing to take the necessary steps in life to have what you desperately crave, the life of fortune, fame, or money. There are ‘steps’ as some would like to call it, or ‘levels’ or in other words, phases in life you have to go through to make it in life, as you recall what I wrote earlier that, nothing good in life comes easy.

What are these steps or phases we are talking about anyway? Well, for the first step, we have all covered it anyway, which is imagining or picturing ourselves living that lavish life, driving that nice car or whatever it is you are hoping to achieve in life. The next steps that follow aren’t always easy, but they are of course the most important steps.

Here are some of the steps/phases you have to go through, all the way to success:

1. Dreaming about life

You’re just laying in bed, probably looking at the ceiling and you start picturing yourself coming out of that Rolls-Royce or living in that lake-house, living life until you eventually fall asleep. We all have those moments when we just escape from the world for a little bit, just fantasizing or imagining a life that we wish we had, but the most painful thing is snapping back to reality and realizing that you are still on ground zero.

2. Putting your imagination on Paper

You have pictured it, you want it, you write your ideas down, a vision for what you want. You try to put those unclear thoughts into paper, to believe it, to convince yourself that you want it. This is the most important phase as it paves way for the road that you want to take, for the path to success. You scramble a few words on paper, you tear it down, you know what you want, you know what’s on your mind, but you can’t seem to put it in black and white, but eventually, with time, you do succeed in doing so. Creating schedules, setting up meetings, preparing your speeches, investing, and/or designing charts or lists to really see the bigger picture from the far corner of the room.

3. Executing the idea

Now that you have dreamed it, written it down, the next step is to execute the ideas or plans, break a sweat, go to work, sleepless nights. Again and again, you make a lot of sacrifices, you lose some friends along the way, you lose some money, bad investments, or you meet the right people who will help you move forward with your vision. You have to remember that not everyone wants to see you succeed, not everyone sees the world the way you do, so you have to be focused on this big step, you have to be willing to let go of the good to get the better. You have to remember that it is in this step, where one takes a huge leap of faith because not at all times, you are going to succeed right at the get-go, you will fall many times and you will keep getting up, fall again until you eventually reach that light at the end of the tunnel. In this crucial step, you have to be ready to face the world, for what the world might throw at you, you won’t like it. You have to be fully committed to everything to work out the way you want.

4. Patience or letting the universe do its magic

In this final step, after all the hard work or amount of energy you would have used on some of the things we talked about on the third step, you wait. What do I mean by ‘wait’? I simply mean that even though patience takes time, waiting for the result is one of the most painful parts of your journey to success. Good things come to those who wait, and even if they don’t at a certain time you were expecting them to happen, you have to be willing to wait for more. You have to remember that for you to get this far, you knew that this step was to come and you would have to be willing to wait.

A lot of people want an easy life, but don’t want to work for it, I mean who doesn’t? We always see a lot of questions on the internet on, ‘How to make it quick in life?’, but the reality of it all is that life is not what it seems, things just don’t magically happen, but you have to work for it and you have to understand that you have to go through many steps in life until you reach to the top. You can’t take the first step, fourth step, the fifth step, and forget about the second step and the third, you have to make sure you go through each phase, one step at a time.

Patience takes time…

Evans Charlsea

POEM: PERFECT YOU

Your kiss was perfect,
the way you closed your eyes every time I kissed you,
the way you kept hold of me every time I said goodbye going to work,
the way you looked at me each time you woke up next to me.
Your eyes were perfect,
those blue eyes,
the way they changed color from blue to gray and sometimes hazel when you
looked at the sunset,
the way they became watery every time I mentioned how much I loved you.
Only a painful reminder of how they closed with tears rolling down your cheeks when
we parted ways, is a memory I am now left with.

WHY DO YOU FEEL LONELY AND SAD?

Why do you feel so lonely and sad?

I know you are probably thinking, you have all those people around you, at work, school, college, that you should not be feeling so lonely and/or sad. I know it’s frustrating, to be able to feel empty inside, nothing amuses you, no one really understands you, and that the world doesn’t really get you, who you are as a person. It’s sad to know that in a world full of people, billions of them, that you still feel lonely regardless.

Storytime, I remember a time when a person close to me passed away and I didn’t really have anyone else to talk to about it, considering my mother was also grieving and mourning and I didn’t want to add an extra load of worries on top of hers and I remember something someone said in an article, that if you are feeling down you should turn to someone close to you and try to talk to them about it, but in my case, I really didn’t have anyone in particular. Well, it’s all because of me being an introvert that I couldn’t just save myself from drowning in my own tears, that I couldn’t just talk to someone about it and as a result, it took a long time for me to be able to handle the sadness.

I started to joke about my sadness, trying to find humor where it isn’t which is not normal. I remember dating a girl and her asking me about my loss and of course I hadn’t told anyone else, well I thought, why not just tell her since it had been 3 years since the loss, to my surprise, I cried a lot and I didn’t know how emotional that made me and after the cuddles and talk, I felt a huge load of freedom from the load I had been carrying for almost three years, TALKING HELPS TOO. Why am I telling you this, you wonder, well it comes back to the main question, why do you feel so lonely and sad?

No one wants to be alone, to be left out in a world of billions. No one wants to feel like they are living on mars and they are seeing everybody else smile on earth, far away and here they are, living on an empty planet. Sadly for some people, it’s a choice, but for some, certain situations lead them to be in a state of loneliness. Some people are stuck with the notion that someone will come into their lives someday to save themselves from being alone and lonely, so they don’t bother talking to other people because of that idea. Mind you, talking to other people does not necessarily mean you have befriended them,
it could be your way of making yourself not feel lonely.

Why do you feel lonely, you ask yourself, well the answer to that question could be the fact that you are hanging out with the wrong people, who always make you doubt yourself and lead to you asking so many questions at times, dark answers. Most of the answers you get are often leading you to isolate yourself because you are wondering at the end of the day, “why bother?”

Some of the reasons you are lonely or feel lonely are because you are an introvert, yes! That’s one of the major reasons a majority of us feel lonely, because of the need to be in the corner of the room when everybody else is in the center living their lives expecting someone is going to come and save you. Having too many expectations in a friendship or relationship making some of those expectations too imaginative for anyone to meet them, is also a huge reason why you are feeling lonely and/or are lonely. Take it
down a notch, make things easy for those who surround you, and make things easy for yourself too, be a realist, at the end of the day, you are only human. Everything takes time, starting with a simple hi or hello to the person next to you. It all starts there and sure goes a long way after that.

It might sound cliche, but one of the reasons you feel lonely or might be lonely is because you spend too much time on your phone, you are constantly looking at, too good to be true, photos of people on social media, ergo, expecting the same to happen to you, forgetting that you should not believe everything you see on the internet. Switch off that phone and laptop for just a few minutes, come back to reality, ask yourself what is it that you really want, be positive-minded, they say you attract people who reflect the type of person you are on the inside, think about that for a minute
and then continue reading.

Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue… and that, for me, is based on insecurity, self-esteem, and loneliness. -Naomi Campbell

Not every friendship or relation is all magical and happy, this is reality, you want that happiness from and in people then it should start from you, thus, the same people you are going to attract and you won’t be lonely at the end of the day.

LOST LOVER

A message i wrote to you
and you never saw,
A song I tried to sing but you never heard
Tears poured, but you thought they were of joy, sadly not.
The waves of the blue ocean and immediately i think of you, named after you.
05.43am I write a poem for i can’t reach out to you,i am just a relic to you, for we are now but a memory.
Pen and paper, notepad on my phone,
diary on my table, the closest things I hold dearly for those are the only things and places I write your name, to remember, to remember…
Poem by your lost lover @pellucidimagination

POEM: Crying Heart

Sometimes I hear my heart crying for you,
and i cry with her.
Sometimes this loneliness doesn’t even make sense,
how could I loose you with a blink of an eye,
how foolish am I not see how perfect
you were for me.
Too blind not to see.

POEM: I want you to imagine this

Winter is coming

You will lose some friends on the journey of finding yourself

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell

The choice one makes of leaving their past behind and turning a new leaf, often comes with a price. We live in a world where people prioritize the happiness of their friends over themselves, which doesn’t always turn out great. People put on a fake smile, they fake a laugh, fake an emotion just so they can be wrapped around the arms of those who surround them, so as to fit in.

The moment a person makes a decision to improve their lifestyle or change themselves to become a better person, just know, that person has already lost a friend or two because of that decision, it’s a fact.

People are different, to be friends with someone it means, you both have some things in common, sometimes not many things, but a few so once you make a decision to change, to make yourself better, it means those small things that bonded you and your friend will be lost in the air, ergo, the friendship also fades away leaving nothing but a memory. It’s not always easy to go through the journey of finding yourself because on that road, you will meet some people and you will lose some.

Imagine having those moments of laughter, craziness, those sleepless nights playing games or doing each other’s hair, listening to the radio at 4 o’clock in the morning, imagining those moments suddenly turning into memories and from memories into a once upon a time.

Imagine having had to go through that rough phase yourself, no one to share the moments with, no one to give you a push when you are falling on every step of the way, it’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? Well, many experience that, just because of the poor choice of so-called friendship. Some people are just there with you just to push their time because they simply don’t see you deserving of that ‘friendship’ title with them.

Nowadays there are social networks, and we have social media giants like Facebook for example, where someone adds you as a friend and once you start posting something they don’t like, they simply remove you as a friend, that’s how it is in real life to some extent. Those people you call friends will simply ghost you, they will stop talking to you, asking for you, they will simply erase themselves from your life, just because you don’t want to think like them, or to be on the same level as them anymore.

You have to understand that you matter, your mental health, your personal health matters, it comes first, and then friendship after that. This journey that you have decided to take is for you and you only, you are doing it for yourself and it’s not selfish to think of yourself for once, you simply matter. It hurts to see the people you thought of as friends living their lives and you think you are alone finding your path, but the simple truth is that, once the journey is over, you will meet more people who fit your caliber, who simply resonates at the same frequency as you, that’s just how life is.

Life is not what it seems, you have to sacrifice the good to get the better, remember that it’s not easy, but many have done it before and you can do it too.

Friendship is a beautiful commitment between you and those who understand you and vice-versa and if you are becoming someone you are not because you want to fit in, then those people you are trying to impress are not your friends. If you change yourself to become a better person, to become someone you are comfortable with and you see people appreciating that identity, then those people are the ones you should recognize as friends. The journey of finding yourself is never easy, but you have to be focused and be open-minded about the possible outcomes at the end of the journey.

Remember you are doing this for yourself, if not you, then who else is going to do it for you? No one and that’s correct.

My Everything…

I could give you the world, but it doesn’t belong to me. Instead, i can lend you my heart, that i too have been entrusted with. You are my world, my everything…XoXo

Short story: Fighting my own body and mind

For so many years, I have lived in a constant loop. It started at a young age, believing that I wasn’t intelligent, that I wasn’t good enough for any activity including recreational sports for that matter.

It first started off as a thought, then later it became part of me. Living in my own world, I always had a firm belief, or rather a different mindset that, I couldn’t have been born without one single thing I am good at, impossible right?

Losing hope isn’t always in the equation, but when reality creeps in, the strength of holding on to that rope of ‘hope’ starts to fade away. Your mind becomes a playground for such thoughts, they build sandcastles, they build offices and finally they build homes inside your mind, meaning those thoughts are definitely not going anywhere anytime soon. I have always looked down upon myself especially being surrounded by those straight ‘A’ students in class and when I thought the pain was over uponhearing the lunch bell ring, I had to face the top notches in sports like Basketball, Volleyball, Tennis, to name a few as I was an all-rounder because I was trying to find where I really belonged, where I didn’t feel out of place, but the end is always the same in such cases.

However, as an ambivert, at least that’s what I think of myself now, it was hard for me to ask around for advice, it was hard to even ask my own parents to at least give me a shade of light upon the darkness I was leaning towards, I couldn’t. It’s so sad for a kid to go through such and not have the courage to try to help himself all in the name of self-doubt. Nowadays, people often feel more comfortable telling their friends everything happening in their lives, but for me, it was the complete opposite, since I had no one, I was all alone.

There is a difference between being surrounded by people and being with people. What do I mean? I mean, often we are surrounded by so many people, but they don’t even know what we/you are going through, in other words, they are just minding their own business and ‘being with the people’ simply means that one is conversing, interacting and/or living with the people which makes it easier to consult, get help and free yourself from drowning in such thoughts.

Now the question is, what did I do to overcome this and be where I am now today? Well, the answer isn’t always clear, however, there are ways that I had to teach myself andadapt to, so as to have some kind of progress in my life.

I started writing and reading poetry, something that never made any sense before, became clearer as I could relate more to it. I also bought a camera, well an old one, but who cares anyway, the most important thing is that I found it easier to express myself and my feelings through taking pictures from a different perspective that could, however, show or tell how I felt without being poetic. I realized I was multi-talented, and until to this day, it has helped me a lot in fighting my own body and mind, fighting the insecurities, the laziness, the negative thoughts, and it HELPED!

Fighting your own body and mind can be a very lengthy process, however, knowing that you are reading this simply tells me that you are willing to go the extra mile to try to help yourself, thus, having the patience for it.

Find! what you love doing the most, what makes you smile and happy, as it serves as a drive from negative emotions towards something more positive and enlightening, I call that magic.

I am sure most people are believers, as I am myself, and pray! prayer is also a weapon in your life, praying and working for a good turn in your life, yes that works only if you have the patience and belief that it will work.

I have come across many people I thought of as friends who always lowered and pinned me down, always degraded me, and seeing any progress in life was even harder as I would compare myself to them. If you want to make a change in your life, you have to be willing to let go of those people even if it means you will be alone for some time, you have to be willing to let go of the good to attain the better, that’s how you fight your own body and mind, that’s how you start to gain more control of your life. It works very well,

I now see what they call ‘the light at the end of the tunnel’.