“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell
The choice one makes of leaving their past behind and turning a new leaf, often comes with a price. We live in a world where people prioritize the happiness of their friends over themselves, which doesn’t always turn out great. People put on a fake smile, they fake a laugh, fake an emotion just so they can be wrapped around the arms of those who surround them, so as to fit in.
The moment a person makes a decision to improve their lifestyle or change themselves to become a better person, just know, that person has already lost a friend or two because of that decision, it’s a fact.
People are different, to be friends with someone it means, you both have some things in common, sometimes not many things, but a few so once you make a decision to change, to make yourself better, it means those small things that bonded you and your friend will be lost in the air, ergo, the friendship also fades away leaving nothing but a memory. It’s not always easy to go through the journey of finding yourself because on that road, you will meet some people and you will lose some.
Imagine having those moments of laughter, craziness, those sleepless nights playing games or doing each other’s hair, listening to the radio at 4 o’clock in the morning, imagining those moments suddenly turning into memories and from memories into a once upon a time.
Imagine having had to go through that rough phase yourself, no one to share the moments with, no one to give you a push when you are falling on every step of the way, it’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? Well, many experience that, just because of the poor choice of so-called friendship. Some people are just there with you just to push their time because they simply don’t see you deserving of that ‘friendship’ title with them.
Nowadays there are social networks, and we have social media giants like Facebook for example, where someone adds you as a friend and once you start posting something they don’t like, they simply remove you as a friend, that’s how it is in real life to some extent. Those people you call friends will simply ghost you, they will stop talking to you, asking for you, they will simply erase themselves from your life, just because you don’t want to think like them, or to be on the same level as them anymore.
You have to understand that you matter, your mental health, your personal health matters, it comes first, and then friendship after that. This journey that you have decided to take is for you and you only, you are doing it for yourself and it’s not selfish to think of yourself for once, you simply matter. It hurts to see the people you thought of as friends living their lives and you think you are alone finding your path, but the simple truth is that, once the journey is over, you will meet more people who fit your caliber, who simply resonates at the same frequency as you, that’s just how life is.
Life is not what it seems, you have to sacrifice the good to get the better, remember that it’s not easy, but many have done it before and you can do it too.
Friendship is a beautiful commitment between you and those who understand you and vice-versa and if you are becoming someone you are not because you want to fit in, then those people you are trying to impress are not your friends. If you change yourself to become a better person, to become someone you are comfortable with and you see people appreciating that identity, then those people are the ones you should recognize as friends. The journey of finding yourself is never easy, but you have to be focused and be open-minded about the possible outcomes at the end of the journey.
Remember you are doing this for yourself, if not you, then who else is going to do it for you? No one and that’s correct.